Playing God

We met very much by accident when I almost drove into her car on the main road.  With a cheeky but pretty little face she she got out from her car to confront me.  ‘Take it easy there’ she said to which I replied ‘are you talking to me’.  ‘Well there is no one else about here’ she said to which I laughed.

I found out that she lived directly opposite me and whilst I had seen her before on several occasions it never occurred to me to say hello.  So that’s how it all started in a very simple way and after a few more brief chats I was invited over to her place to see her pet dogs and it’s strange that I then found out so more about Alison that really made me like her.

From a very Christian background and a regular Church attender we could not have been so much different.  She was 12 years younger than myself and had never had a relationship with any male.  I on the other hand had been married separated and divorced and at this point in my life was heavily addicted to alcohol and valium.  So we started going out together to places such as the cinema the park and those other nice things that people do.  Unfortunately, I always had a can of beer with me and Alison never objected but kept smiling and saying that it was all I had been through that made me like that.  If ever there was a joke that was it as I wallowed in self pity as alcoholics do and used this as a means for drinking more.
The strange thing is that no matter how pretty or young she was I could not bring myself to have sex with her as I felt dirty in myself and no matter how drunk I was I would not let it happen as I simply did not want to be the person to take her virginity and was sensible enough to realise that she could meet someone much better and worthy of her.  So time passed as it does and me being me I looked for various ways to end the relationship and the emotional torture I put Alison through in regards to starting arguments ridiculing her belief in God and everything about her is something I wont forgive myself for.

Eventually I plucked up the courage to tell her that i would not be seeing her anymore without giving valid reasons and locked myself into a barrage of self pity and alcohol for several weeks until the message got through to her.

The reasons I gave myself for ending the relationship were quite simple to enable her to have the chance to meet someone her own age and to live a normal life.  The realist was that i was unable to maintain a relationship with anyone at that point in time.

The years passed and I never did see her but I was deeply saddened when I heard from a friend that after Alison and I broke up that she met someone and got married and the worst of all this is that he was a chronic alcoholic who constantly abused her both physically and mentally.  How very wrong I was to play God and that taught me a lesson forever.

Blogging for Dummies

Just received the book I ordered on Blogging today and there is a lot more to this than I first thought. Of course a blog can be about anything you want it to be and there are no set rules or standards suggesting it has to be done one way or another but it’s amazing how much detail the book goes into.

Firstly there is a chapter on discovering blog basics followed by another on the Blogosphere then there is stuff about micro blogging working with photos, podcasting, working with videos, rss, the twitterverse, measuring blog presence, social networking and it goes on and on. There is also a very interesting chapter on making lots of money by blogging (I have a long way to go yet to do that) and something I never knew before that major companies actually employ bloggers. Have just come across a chapter on html codes. Anyway enough about my day as better get back to reading. Wonder if you can do a degree in Blogging? Must check it out.

Cinema Distress

I can remember when I was young a long long time ago and people were able to go to the cinema and pay entry using old lemonade bottles instead of money.  The place was called the ‘flea pit’ and the usherette came around during the interval selling ice cream and stuff.  I can remember distinctly on one occasion that i had just bought an ice lolly and was walking down the aisle when someone run past me and grabbed the lolly and kept running.  I can remember going back to my seat and the person I was with, think it was an aunt said to me ‘where’s your ice lolly’ to which I replied that I changed my mind and decided not to buy one.  I never found out who took my lolly but it really bugged me for quite some time and also taught me a valuable lesson.  Don’t buy lollies at the cinema.

What makes me happy

Of all the things I could ever want in life that which makes me more happy than anything else is seeing my two cats healthy and having fun.  One of my cats, the little black coloured one recently had a form of liver disease and we had to take her to the vet.  that was such a miserable day wondering if she would be ok or not.  thankfully we got her there on time and after about two months treatment she is back to normal.  Just back from the vet today.  The other cat, the black and white one had dental problems as cats do and we got that sorted.  So it makes me very happy and thankful to God that the cats are alive and well and that I can do everything possible to make their lives as nice as I can until we meet at the Rainbow Bridge.

Living with Hope

Do you ever feel that life is too much to cope with?  I do many times every week as I am unemployed and have had several interviews which have not been successful.  Have worked most of my life but for some reason it’s becoming more and more difficult to find a job and possibly due to the recession.  I am fairly well qualified have a degree and have very good references from former employers but as I am getting older I seem to lack that drive and enthusiasm I once had.

Most days I am on the computer looking through job sites and wondering when the misery will end.  then I say to myself that when I eventually do get work will I be able to afford to work as normally it’s a month to wait before getting paid.  It’s difficult enough to survive as it is and I am sure there are many people much worse off.

So yes I become quite depressed and down or feeling low but I am able to cope with the knowledge that there just may be something at the end of the road for me to achieve and the realisation that if I keep trying I will eventually succeed.

Plain English

I am quite tired of reading postings which are in a language I find difficult to understand.  Why is it that people cannot or do not use plain simple English to say what they mean?  I have a very basic qualification in English and even though it is my first language I am becoming increasingly irritated at those who appear to be keen in boring me to death with words I have never heard of.  Yes I have had a good education and could use many long words to say what I can say in simple language.  So come on give us ordinary mortals a break and write in a way we can all understand.